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Post by gerald on Mar 4, 2015 1:58:19 GMT -5
Last year I joined a support group for procrastinators. We haven't met yet!
I don't trip over things; I do random gravity checks!
I don't need anger management; I need people to stop pissing me off!
Old age is coming at a really bad time!
When I was a child I thought Nap Time was a punishment ... now, as a grown up, it feels like a small vacation!
The biggest lie I tell myself is ... "I don't need to write that down, I'll remember it."
Lord grant me the strength to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can.
I don't have gray hair. I have "wisdom highlights." I'm just very wise.
My people skills are just fine. It's my tolerance to idiots that needs work.
Teach your daughter how to shoot, because a restraining order is just a piece of paper.
If God wanted me to touch my toes, he would have put them on my knees.
The kids’ text me "plz" which is shorter than please. I text back "no" which is shorter than "yes".
I'm going to retire and live off of my savings. Not sure what I'll do that second week.
I've lost my mind and I'm pretty sure my kids took it!
Even duct tape can't fix stupid ... but it can muffle the sound!
Why do I have to press one for English when you're just gonna transfer me to someone I can't understand anyway?
Lord, Give me patience and give it to me NOW.
Of course I talk to myself, sometimes I need expert advice.
At my age "Getting lucky" means walking into a room and remembering what I came in there for.
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Post by jim on Mar 4, 2015 6:53:53 GMT -5
thumbsupde1
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