Post by lavishgail on Aug 23, 2017 12:57:37 GMT -5
Im home now, and have a visiting nurse. Im doing pretty good.
My son is still in the hospital, and in 6 more days he is going into a half way house far away from here. I'm so happy that you took this further and is getting help for himself I'm very proud of him at this point. I don't know where he is going because he hasn't told me but I got a paper in the mail and I'm thinking it's near Boston. He told me to open his mail and it was about his halfway house. I think he stays there for about 6 months and then I think they helped him find an apartment and job and all of that. He will not be coming back to Massachusetts as far as I know this part of Massachusetts but most likely stay down there Boston. I really hope he relocates so that he can get better I love him to pieces but he needs to get better and if moving away is what it takes then that's what he has to do. Thank you Barb for asking about me. Love Gail XXOO
Glad your son is finding help. The longer the better.
We just had a kid about 24 years old that graduated the Haven House about a year ago. He died last week from a heroin overdose. He didn't do what he was taught and slipped back to his old ways and it killed him.
People dropping like flies from the heroin and opioid epidemic. Looks like they would learn but I guess they don't think it will happen to them.
Post by lavishgail on Aug 26, 2017 21:35:57 GMT -5
My son tried to call me and I left my phone in the car when I ran into the store. He thinks I'm ignoring him now! He found out they are going to put him here in town, he said its such a bad idea, he wants to go futher away, bc he said there's more drugs in this halfway house. He said its very bad there, more drugs in there then the streets! I feel awful.
Well, maybe he can set an example for the other people.
My advice to him if he really wants to quit alcohol and drugs is to go to as many AA meetings he can a week. It's Free
If he really wants to go far away then send him to the Haven House here in Florida. There are people there from all over. I guarantee there are no drugs there but there are rules.
It's a 13 month program. I went there and now I am 12 years sober. I do continue to go to AA meetings. I like to try and help other people who are struggling. It is selfish to receive help and then not give it away.
Bottom line it is up to him to quit.
There was a funeral yesterday for a 23 year old kid. He went to the Haven House and graduated. I was there for his graduation. I guess he had been out for almost a year but didn't follow the rules he was taught. He died of a heroin overdose last week. What a waste to give your life for heroin.
Post by lavishgail on Aug 27, 2017 22:00:33 GMT -5
Thats so nice of you David! Thank you so much. He called me this afternoon, and the found a better place for him. It is in town but hes so far doing great and im so proud of him. He talked to his daughters today on the phone, one is only 8 so we tell her he is sick, and is getting help for his bad moods. She is to young for me to tell her. And the other one is 13, she knows. And cried so hard after talking to dad. She kept asking her mom where he was, and at first she would say at a friends house safe. But she was so upset crying and thinking he could be dead! So she told her and I'm glad!
My son told me he is doing this to be a better person. Father and Son! Im very happy. Hope he stays this way, i pray. Thanks again David, and if this doesnt work out maybe you have a great idea. Thanks xoxo you're a sweetheart.
Post by lavishgail on Aug 28, 2017 23:21:03 GMT -5
Thank you so much David for you're prayers. Im so thankful for you. And everyone here. I told my son everyone is praying for him and he asked me to thank everone for him. So A Big Thank you all From Kyle.
Post by lavishgail on Sept 6, 2017 23:53:39 GMT -5
Update on my Son.
He is doing very good at the half way house. I went to drop off a computer for him, he was cooking dinner for 12. I think I may have told this already? But anyway today he went to a program for helping get a job. My oldest son picked him up and brought him. Guess what? He has a job interview tomorrow. Which is actually today bc its already almost 1 in the am. I'm so happy for him. I hope it's a job he likes and I hope he gets it! My fingers are crossed and my toes too.
I helped him out paying some of his phone so he doesnt lose it. Its his only contact and he needs it for jobs.
He told me as soon as he gets one and gets paid hes paying me back.
So, hes doing good so far! Thank you Jesus. Ill keep you all informed on how this all goes. THANK YOU all for listening.. Goodnight
It was very rare for kyle to drink. His choice was heroin. How sad this epidemic has come. But he told me he will go to both, bc he needs it all. I asked him if I could go to and that made him very happy! He said yes.
I met him last night outside of N/A to bring some stuff to him, we had like 5 minutes and he hurried back in. I got my big bear hug from him bc he is so much taller than me and a big boy! Im only 5^4 .
Post by lavishgail on Sept 22, 2017 4:50:53 GMT -5
A little update on my son.
So far he likes his job, they are training him on day's, after training he will go to second shift, 12.50 to start. That's awesome. His first check will be only 2 days worth! Next check he has to give 300 of it to the halfway house and 200 in food stamps! Hes so upset, but its a way for him to learn responsibility! They have to pay 800.00 dollars a month plus 200 for food, 12 men x 200 food stamps WOW! HE HAS to share a very small room with another guy.I understand how he feels, but explained to him its cost that much to live in a studio apartment, and thats with out utilities. Also he doesnt need a ton of money in his pockets, all he needs is child support for his kid's, till they take that out of his check and cigg money! And coffee If he wants to go out to the store. If he has more money IT will only go in his arm, I fear. I still do not trust him. He has done far to much, and needs to slowly gain my trust back. I love him with all my heart and soul, but he has to show me he is doing what he is suppose to do.
Im very forgiving, but this time I'm being very cautious. I just cant be hurt anymore. Im already being attacked by lupus, its gone into all of my joints and is running havoc with me. Went to the orthopedic today for my shoulders right one is torn, they gave me a shot, If that doesnt work I go back asap. Take care, Love Gail XOXO
My prayers continue for you and your son, Gail. I hope that he continues with the 'after' program and as David mentioned that he goes to any 12 step program (AA) available. Now days they have so many programs, but it's those 12 steps that enabled me to finally get sobriety and enable me to this day to keep my sobriety.
I remember when I first got sober & I chose to pay my own way & quit asking mommy & daddy for help. (i had my 3 kids at that time)---there were many hard times & i almost lost my home several times & nothing was scarier than the thought of ending up on the street with my children. (i never thought about that when drinking, as i always knew i could go to mommy & daddy & they would pay my bills to make sure my kids were okay. We didn't have a home phone for 2 years as I could not afford one. I cleaned houses for $5.00 an hour, I drove a $500 car with bald tires & was always breaking down so at times I had to ride my sons bicycle to get to work. There was a Christmas I couldn't buy a thing, not even underwear for my kids. (oddly, Santa showed up & my kids were taken care of---one of the miracles i don't know how or who did it) I didn't ask for any financial help from humans, but i did cry a lot and I did ask for 12 step help from the people with 'time' at the 12 step meetings. It was those times that I truly learned some of my greatest lessons & I got to 'see the miracles' of things coming together when I thought all was lost.
Today I may not have a lot, but I own my home, my car & everything I have....I have few friends, but true friends. I was able to be there AND care for each of my parents when they passed away (not making excuses & getting high to avoid reality). AND the biggest thing I gained, is the love & trust of my children, who had lived thru the hell. Today my children WANT to come see me & even bring their children to see me= there was a time my children just wanted to get old enough to get away from me & never look back!
Gail, I know it is so hard not to "help" your son, but don't make the mistakes i did! There was a time that my youngest was "having hard times" and I paid her bills for about a year; which cost me about 1/3 of my retirement that I sure could use today. (i had sold a rental house i had & in 1 year, the whole $50,000.00 equity i had ended up going to "taking care" of my daughter & grand-kids. It wasn't easy to start saying "no" to her as after I quit covering her rent, paying off 'payday loans', paying her car payment, insurance etc. (but i had pretty much run out of money & had no choice but to say no---now it was coming out of MY living expenses to give her money) She then started calling me that the 'kids need clothes for school, or shoes ,or kids needed something grand-child related, as she knew how to 'work' me.
I spent another year 'supporting' my grand kids! and you know, every time i bought that coat or shoes or what ever, my daughter could buy more drugs. I finally told her "No more" money for ANYTHING---i was broke! She cussed me, she disowned me, she wrote nasty letters. Then came the day that she called & thanked me. Today, she is clean & sober. She has a good job, making good money. She lives in a scary neighborhood, but she is doing it....and she is proud of herself! My daughter looks great, my grand kids always look clean & dressed in decent clothes. They all seem happy. My daughter has even started dating a really nice guy that also "looks clean" and seems to really care for her (unlike 'the bums' that always seemed to use her because she had a home)> But the best part is; my daughter is alive!!!!
Gail, if your son stays sober, the next couple of years will be so hard. But the climb out of the gutter & up that mountain sure is worth it if one prevails!!! My prayers are with your son & you.
Thank you Jade, although I have noticed a few things he's been doing. It started out slow but I caught on quite quick, first it was mom can you bring me a pack of cigarettes and I did of course thinking he didn't get his paycheck yet. I received some mail and his name and I opened it in case it was an of an emergency, he also asked me to open his mail to be sure there was nothing emergency like in there. He is making 1698 an hour, and telling me 12:50, so that's number one lie, he told us in the beginning he had to pay $200 a week to the halfway house this past weekend he told me he had to give most of his paycheck number to lie because the very next day after he was paid he had no money and was already asking for a pack of cigarettes and some money. Then of course he's planted a seed and of course it was a pot plant and he texted me and wanted me to give it to him so that he could gather up some folks sell it and make up the difference for his room. I threw it away, he is in no way and this world going to have a pot plant to sell. So I'm thinking he's using again and if he is he'll be thrown out. I do know many use there but I don't know if they throw them out or try to help them. There are mixed feelings for me I worry all the time and I have to stop it's only making me ill. I told him he is 32 years old and he needs to get help real help. He threw a fit with me called me all kinds of names that was number 3 clothes that I knew he's using but I can't prove it. Thank you for saying that to me jade it made my night.
Jarica, that was one real story you told. I'm very very proud of who you've become. And I'm so proud of you just for being you because you're awesome thank you for sharing your story with me it also doesn't make me feel alone. You're a strong woman and I look up to you for that.
David, thank you for always being here to read and thank you for prayers everybody, Only God Can Count the seeds in one apple, so I leave everything in God's hands I cannot do this anymore. I'm exhausted.
So thank you to everyone who's been saying prayers for my son. And I also say prayers for all of you, I love all of you and I count on you.