It's hard and I think hard for most. I don't think we ever deal with it. We grieve as long as it takes with flashes now and then throughout our lives. And lavishgail, with your recent loss my thoughts of pets who've been in my life returned. I can smile now, but how long before I could smile - I have no idea. I guess it's whatever I needed. Take care.
I can give you a close to ironclad guarantee, having seen and experienced, that you truly don't have to worry about Death. It is a perhaps problem now because it is a d**n lousy timed inconvenient murky *specter*. Or as Webster would have it a something widely feared as a *possible* unpleasant or dangerous occurrence. A.K.A. the infamous Unknown. Or in the case of others - "What the Hell am I going to do without them?"
It is personally spooky now, because it is less real and the imagination always runs wild, but the fact is when it actually comes time - you WILL discover you can and will handle it quite well. Quite surprising yourself. In fact if given the opportunity become witty and profound. Don't ask me how, but it Will all work out.
It is a great truth however trite, overused, and banal -> you are NEVER given anything you can't handle. Trust me it IS true. So don't worry about it. Like a d**n unpleasant chore - it CAN wait till you have time to deal with it and then it will get done! Or to be real sappy "After all Tomorrow is another day!" Smile.
Like many older age folks, I've seen my large amount of death as well. From family to dear friends to strangers who indirectly impacted my life as well. It isn't easy trying to overcome death of a loved one and its many different phases. For example, the Why phase. re: Why him/her? The Anger phase. The Loneliness phase. The positive memories without crying phase. The Self Depression phase from will never see them again realization. The Acceptance phase. I've seen some people view death like its a no big deal like the "full circle of life" thing. And I seen death of a loved one self destroy themselves - with deep depression and self destruction outcome. I guess each of us handle different phases of death differently. For example.... When our family dog passed away, I accepted it as part of life, and daily life must go on. And years later looking at our camping pictures and our dog was in it, I started to cry. Guess she meant more to me than I realized. Guess it takes time to accept death of a loved one.... I do know that "death" or the "fear of death" cannot destroy one's self. Knowing that it will happen to each of us, do try to "make the most" of each living day. Try to make a reason to live today without that specific person or pet. For example, can you complete one more Bucket list entry, make something productive, help others who need more help or even make someone laugh? Try to focus on today and our living life.... Hope this helps...
Wasn't going to go there, but something Spike99 wrote makes me think it might help...
Today's is the 3rd year anniversary of my wife's passing. We always try to do a little something in memory.
My daughter a few days ago - out of the clear blue - found herself as grief-stricken as she had been on that day. Being a dad I was sort of helpless.
So she dragged out old photos - you know the ones: My wife on the floor beside a 2yr old daughter playing in the tub while my wife got a breather reading the paper on a makeshift desk (the toilet). A mother obviously freezing outside beside a snow-suited bundle having a thrill of a lifetime trying to shovel snow. A wind-tossed woman holding her daughter trying to get her to smile at the camera, for that vacation shot in front of a Wyoming Canyon view. ... and so on. I told stories about each photo. And how her mother would be laughing and enjoying the simple things my daughter has put up with with her own daughter. My wife loved the "Parental Curse!" and how accurate it always was. )
Post by lavishgail on Aug 15, 2018 23:37:57 GMT -5
Oh gnott that was BEAUTIFUL..
You're a great writer, have u ever thought of writing a romance novel? Perhaps change the names and tell us you're story!! That sure would be a book, you have some awesome thoughts, great at punctuation wonderful at writing your thoughts and your caring ways I would read that book in a minute.
Post by lavishgail on Aug 15, 2018 23:45:08 GMT -5
You have all helped me. Spike, I took you up on doing something for others.
So I went grocery shopping and brought a poor family with children a bunch of groceries. I had more enjoyment looking at their BIG HUGE SMILES.. I ALSO gave another family 100.00 for 2 of the 4 that go to school. So Thank you, It made me feel great, more so then bringing my year old to 2 year old washed and cleaned for the poor that live right around here to the church here in town. Thanks.
Post by lavishgail on Aug 15, 2018 23:55:57 GMT -5
My poor other dog my mini pin, is very depressed..but I dont want another animal, its to heart wrenching! Then tonight, we had a wake and funeral together. He will be buried a little later on. Seems I've seen my share of death. My dad had 13 brothers and sisters!! Everyone is gone now, too many people and animals have died and it's so sad, this kid tonight was younger then me born 1964, heart attack, so sad!! Take care. Xoxo
I had to put one of my puppies to sleep two months ago and I still sob. She was 12 and she was my little sweetie although never a truly affectionate dog but somehow I always felt she was mine. Our other pup, who is now 14 is still grieving. It's incredible the changes in his personality that have occured and in fact, we had him to the vet yesterday because he's lost 20% of his body weight since that terrible day in June. We all grieve in different ways. We still have her ashes here and as soon as we receive the marker we're having made, she'll be buried in the garden out back. I know I'm going to sob then too. I was smart in that I started to video and record her voice the minute the vet told us she was sick. I only had a week but those recordings seem to help more than the pictures. Each to their own. Grieving has no rules although a number of people seem to think so. The way I see it, we simply are what we are.
Post by lavishgail on Aug 23, 2018 14:51:58 GMT -5
Oh Shelly, what a beautiful baby puppy! My dog was in such pain and depression and I guess I was too my husband bought us a little Bichon puppy he is the cutest you've ever seen I can't put pictures up I only have my phone right now, our internet is not working, but as soon as it's working I I will try to put pictures up.