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Post by the bear on Mar 28, 2007 22:40:36 GMT -5
So each day I will post some tidbit which tickled my funny bone. Perhaps you will get a laugh. A couple of points to ponder~~ Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things. Atheism is a non-prophet organization. ;D ;D
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Post by morningstar on Mar 29, 2007 5:25:27 GMT -5
Barry,
Both seem true to me. I will look forward to reading your post dailyl
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Post by morningstar on Mar 29, 2007 5:27:28 GMT -5
Barry,
Both seem true to me. I will look forward to reading your post dailyl
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Post by the bear on Mar 29, 2007 7:44:31 GMT -5
Points to ponder~~ Why do we park in the driveway and drive on the parkway??? If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes??? ;D ;D
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Post by the bear on Mar 29, 2007 21:32:47 GMT -5
The difference between a fart and a pun~~ A pun is a shift of wit and a fart is a whiff of sh~~. ~~What should you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant. bear
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Post by the bear on Mar 30, 2007 20:51:12 GMT -5
Points to ponder~~ If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill themselves, is it considered a hostage situation?? Is there another word for synonym?? Where do forest rangeres go to" get away from it all"?? ;D
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Deleted
Deleted Member
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Post by Deleted on Mar 31, 2007 10:27:35 GMT -5
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Post by the bear on Apr 1, 2007 18:07:57 GMT -5
More points to ponder. I hope you are enjoying them. Why do they lock gas station restrooms?? Are they afraid someone will clean them?? If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?? Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?? ;D ;D
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Post by morningstar on Apr 1, 2007 19:48:41 GMT -5
I am enjoying them very much. Thank you for sharing.
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Post by the bear on Apr 3, 2007 8:03:53 GMT -5
More
Points to ponder~~
If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent??
Why do they put Braille on drive through bank machines??
One nice thing about egotists; they don't talk about other people. ;D ;D
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Post by Blossom/Jackie W. on Apr 3, 2007 18:29:25 GMT -5
Bear......you're too much......watch I don't set out the honey pot! Think about that one if you've ever "roughed" it or camped. hehehehehe
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Post by the bear on Apr 4, 2007 16:24:13 GMT -5
Points to ponder~~April 4th,2007
I went to a bookstore and asked the saleslady, "Where is the self- help section, please?" Her smart ass reply was" If I told you, that would defeat the purpose.?"
How do they get deer to cross the road only at those yellow signs??
What was the best thing before sliced bread.?? ;D ;D
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Post by the bear on Apr 5, 2007 10:49:52 GMT -5
April 5th 2007. Points to ponder~~ How is it possible to have a civil war?? If you ate both pasta and antipasto, would you still be hungry?? Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery??? ;D ;D
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Post by cheryl on Apr 5, 2007 10:57:31 GMT -5
Bear I'm enjoying your postings very much - keep em coming lolol
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Post by morningstar on Apr 5, 2007 13:13:49 GMT -5
Bear I enjoy you jokes or points to ponder. And look for them everyday. I don't post after each one thinking I am being a pest. But, I do so enjoy them.
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Post by the bear on Apr 6, 2007 10:16:17 GMT -5
Good Friday April 6th 2007. Happy Easter everyone Points to ponder~~ Just remember those little brown things a rabbit drops are not chocolate covered raisins. If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown, too??? If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?? Whose cruel idea was it for the word "Lisp" to have a "S" in it?? ;D ;D
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Post by the bear on Apr 7, 2007 13:21:47 GMT -5
Saturday April 7th 2007 More Points to ponder~~~ Why are hemorrhoids called "hemorrhoids" instead of "assterhoids" Why is it called tourist season, if we can't shoot at them?? Life is simpler when you plow around the stump. ;D
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Post by the bear on Apr 8, 2007 12:35:48 GMT -5
April 8th 2007 Easter Sunday. Points to ponder~~ Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?? If you spin an oriental man in a circle three times fast, does he become disoriented?? Can an atheist get insurance against acts of God?? ;D
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Post by the bear on Apr 9, 2007 17:53:19 GMT -5
April 9th 2007. Moving day tomorrow. Just about done the points to ponder but have a lot of down on the farm humour. ENJOY Life ain't about how fast you run, or how high you can jump, but, all about how well you bounce. Keep skunks and lawyers and bankers at a distance. Keep your fences horse-high, pig-tight, and bull-chit proof. ;D
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Post by the bear on Apr 11, 2007 19:49:15 GMT -5
April 11th 2007 More down on the farm advice~~ A bumble bee is considerably faster than a John Deere. Words that soak into your brain are whispered....not yelled. Meanness don't jes' happen overnight.
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Post by the bear on Apr 12, 2007 7:10:57 GMT -5
April 12th 2007 More down on the farm humour and points to ponder~~~~ Forgive you enemies. It messes up their heads. Do not corner something that you know is meaner than you are. It don't take a very big person to carry a grudge.
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Post by the bear on Apr 13, 2007 6:54:26 GMT -5
More down on the farm for Friday the 13th of April~~~ You cannot unsay a cruel word. Every path has a few puddles. When you wallow with pigs, expect to get dirty.
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Post by the bear on Apr 14, 2007 8:00:11 GMT -5
Saturday April 14, 2007 More from the farm~~~ The best sermons are lived, not preached. Most of the stuff people worry about, aint't never gonna happen anyhow. Don't judge folks by their relatives.
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Post by morningstar on Apr 14, 2007 11:29:08 GMT -5
Here you go Mr. the bear. You have a happy outlook so this bear reminded me of you. Thanks for the jokes .
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Post by the bear on Apr 15, 2007 7:13:40 GMT -5
Back on the farm~~~ Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer. Live a good honourable life. Then when you get older, you can look back, and enjoy it all again. Don't interfere with somethin' that ain't botherin' you.
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Post by the bear on Apr 17, 2007 7:42:10 GMT -5
April 17th 2007 Back on the farm it is said that~~~ Timing has a lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance. The easiest way to eat crow is while it is still warm, 'cause the colder it gets, the harder it is to swaller. If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is to stop diggin'. Rosemarie, thanks for the bear. I am a poo bear, or a huggy care bear.
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Post by the bear on Apr 18, 2007 8:35:39 GMT -5
April 18 2007 Wednesday More from down on the farm~~~ Sometimes you get, and sometimes you get got. It don't take a genius to spot a goat in a flock of sheep. The biggest troublemaker you'll ever have to face and lock horns with, watches you from the mirror every mornin'.
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Post by the bear on Apr 19, 2007 7:13:24 GMT -5
Thursday April 19th 2007 More from the farm~~~ Always drink upstream from the herd. Good judgment comes from experience, and a lotta that comes from bad judgment. Lettin' the cat out of the bag is a whole lot easier than puttin' it back in. ;D
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Post by the bear on Apr 20, 2007 10:31:31 GMT -5
Friday April 20, 2007 Lessons from the farm~~~
If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around.
Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. and Leave the rest to God.
Don't ask me to be logical. I am too sure of my values, but not about my reasons.
;D ;D
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Post by morningstar on Apr 20, 2007 15:29:26 GMT -5
Thank you Bear. I feel the same way on all of this. And I needed to hear someone say I was ok.
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