High Sugar and cholesterol

[lavishgail]

I went Friday and had about 7 tubes of blood drawn. By that evening, my cardiologist doctor called me and told me my cholesterol was sky-high she gave me a number of 510 something like that I know it's very bad and off the scales she said.

Well I've been worried about my health, as I'm declining it seems faster and faster. This is why I've been depressed, also change of weather, everything is dead, dyeing or going to sleep. I seem to get depressed this time of year ever year, since the death of my father 37 years ago. 37? Wow doesn't seem possible.

Also during this time of year I used to be so shy and scared to go to school, one day my mom and I were trying to figure out why do I get so depressed around now and she brought that up she said it was very hard to get me to go to school I never wanted to leave her I would cry and be scared I didn't want my mom to be all alone either while my dad was at work.

But again I have to much going on. I can't take much more.
I had a good cry last night, felt a little relieved, and slept ok for a change. I haven't had my drops for about 5 day's so sleep for me has been difficult. All I do is lay here with all my aches and pains and I cannot sleep because I'm in so much pain. Nothing helps it except for the drops. I could take every pain pill in the world and it still doesn't take away all the pain I have to deal with and oh my god with this rainy weather I'm really hurting.

I guess I'm very overwhelmed, a new puppy, my dog dying, I lost my PCA, because he became very sick you know the story my son, so trying to get my new PCA figure it out how to do things the way my son and I did it's really hard I'm having a tough time.

I'm going to write list out of things that need to be done, but I don't know if I'm supposed to let my PCA take care of my animals as well? I don't want to overstep what I'm supposed to do.
So between all that and my aches and pains I feel like I'm going downhill instead of Apel do you know and I am only 56 it's not like I'm a hundred and fifty six that's what I feel like though.

I know this too shall pass, I get depressed every year for many years so I know the scope, but I am very worried about what to eat what to drink besides water is Diet stuff okay is that not okay these are my worries my mind is racing, my thoughts are swirling, and I think I need to go for a walk or something, but my walks are only about 10 steps down the driveway and back I'm lucky if I can do that sometimes.

And then after I did all those things for my youngest son he turned against me again, so this time I'm done for real I mean it. I don't need all of this going on in my life what little life I have.

I hope my post was not too depressing for anybody I just needed to vent and get things out yeah, I don't really have any one person to talk to, so that's why I come here and I'm so thankful for all of you, I love each and everyone of you from the bottom of my heart.

[jade]

Gail, you are having an incredible hard time and problems in your life and poor health on top of everything. Take care and from a far away, I am sending you healing lights.

[barb7330]

Sorry to hear of all your troubles Gail and your Son doing whatever...You need to stop worrying about everything...just rest.

[lavishgail]

Thanks ladies. You're right, I've been to worried, I've been resting last couple of day's, I'll be alright. I got out yesterday, that did me a whole lot of good! I'm pushing myself tomorrow to do the same.
Thanks again.

[sallybrown]

Just wanted to let you know, Gail, that you are in my thoughts 💕 and prayers 🙏. You are going through so much right now and I know it must seem never ending - just try to take it one day (or even one hour) at a time. You have a huge ❤️ and take too much on. Please be a little selfish and do take care of yourself. I find rest, meditation and books help a bit. Your son is a grown man - his choices and their consequences are his alone. Hand this over to the universe and picture it floating away. You can love - but do it from afar. Difficult but can be done. (I know this personally.). Hang in there, girlfriend! We are here for you!

[lavishgail]

Hi Sally,

You're so right. He's a grown man and needs to grow up. For so many years my son has crippled me. I'm so done, thought I learned but guess not.

I'm learning now, all that I can! I just get so tired of him texting me his never ending troubles!! Then turn around and place all the blame on me! And me believing all of it.

Anyway, Thanks Sally, my girlfriend!!

[jarca]

oh gail I am so sorry you are having such a hard time. 
Have you ever heard of "seasonal affect disorder"?  It is a depression that is in fall/winter when there is less daylight. 
I was never affected by it when I lived in california, but when i moved to Utah I started getting depressed in the winter---It was a long time before I learned about SAD & it affects me whenever we are cloudy & gloomy like it has been lately with all this rain.
they have special lights that some people use; but I try to remember & keep my lamp above my head on during the day when i'm on the computer to try to give myself more light & also, some say that taking Vit D-3 helps with it.
You may want to talk to your dr about that----because you say you've "always felt this way this time of year''  could very well be that your body needs more sunlight!!

(also, if you're dealing with a lot of pain; I know for me I can get very depressed; pain wears a person down!!!)

[John]

Dale I lit a candle for you is an electric one but it still works🌹😇

[lavishgail]

Thank you so much for the candle and also thank you for all you're advice.

I really feel seasonal anxiety and depression. And yes I'm always dealing with pain so that is always a down or two I'm sorry to complain all the time I'll try not to do it as much anymore I love all of you and thank you

[jarca]

oh gail, I don't think of it as complaining (or i guess i complain too)---I always want to hear how people are doing & not hear 'sugar coating' all the time. I want to know what others experience with this disease so i know if I'm "normal' or not.
AND, if you are like me, you don't want to say & worry the people around you; so isn't that why we are all here to support each other thru the tough times (& be happy together during the good times)
---I did realize that sun lamp therapy might not have been my best advice to you (i don't do UV lights, i just keep my house well lit in the gloomy winter for "S.A.D."

HUGS & Prayers 

[sonnygirl]

  Gail , 
  I'm so sorry you're feeling bad.  I wish I had a magic wand to make all the negative go away for all of us.
  sending soft southern hugs , hope you can feel them.   

[lavishgail]

Jarca,and SonnyGirl, thank you for you're awesome kind words.

Jarca, I think you gave me great advice, how would you know I'm allergic to the sun? It's all from Lupus! Not something anyone really knows unless you have the disease. Also could psoriatic arthritis, fibromyalgia heart problems dear Lord now that I hear myself not good. But I am starting to feel a little better I'm getting out a little more and I'm keeping my mind busy. Take care of everybody and thank y'all again.

[jarca]

Gail, i had a friend (many years ago) that had lupus---she wore the cutest hats! (she moved to california, where she had family; so I haven't seen her in 8 or so years; i do hope she's doing well (she'd be about 70 years old now)

I also had a dear friend that had 'rhuemetoid arthritus' --- it was from her I learned that can affect a persons heart

i've had many friends in life older than i am, so don't know if thats why i've learned about diseases i wouldn't have known about otherwise, or if its just I'm interested in my friends so 'listen' when they've needed an ear----and guess what?----I never thought of them as complaining when they talked to me about their lousy days; but i also got to enjoy the good days with them

[joany]

Good point, jarca.  I have a lunch date weekly with several women of different ages and different ailments (no one is totally free - we all got sump'm).  No one complains - just tells it like it is.  The only topic that is off limits is politics (someone could get hurt) otherwise the sky is the limit.

[lavishgail]

Thanks Girls!😚😚

I hear u there joany. Haha

[jarca]

agree totally about no politics joany!
so many people post political things on facebook, which i just skim on by; as if i'd make political choices based on facebook posts hahahahahah

[lavishgail]

Jarca, hahaha, You do crack me up Girl!! I just think the world of you sweetheart!!