I just took a leaflet out of my mailbox informing me that I can have sex at 73. I'm so happy because I live at number 71, so it's not too far to walk home afterwards. And it's the same side of the street. I don't even have to cross the road!
Answering machine message "I am not available right now, but thank you for caring enough to call. I am making some changes in my life. Please leave a message after the beep. If I do not return your call, you are one of the changes."
"With hurricanes, tornados, fires out of control, mud slides, flooding, severe thunderstorms tearing up the country from one end to another, and with the threat of bird flu and terrorist attacks....are we sure this is a good time to take God out of the Pledge of Allegiance?"