No offense to any one from West Va. so get even and give me your best shot at making fun of a New Yorker.
West Virginia
The owner of a golf course in West Virginia was confused about
paying an invoice, so he decided to ask his secretary for some
mathematical help.
He called her into his office and said, "You graduated from West
Virginia University and I need some help. If I were to give you
$20,000, minus 14%, how much would you take off?"
The secretary thought a moment, then replied, Everything but my earrings."
You gotta love those West Va. women.
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A group of WV friends went deer hunting and paired off in twos for the day.
That night, one of the hunters returned alone, staggering under the
weight of an eight-point buck.
"Where's Henry?" the others asked.
"Henry had a stroke
of some kind. He's a couple of miles back up the trail," the
successful hunter replied.
"You left Henry laying out there and carried the deer back?" they inquired.
"A tough call," nodded the hunter. "But I figured no one is going
to steal Henry!"
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A senior in West Virginia was overheard saying... "When the end of
the world comes, I hope to be in West Virginia." When asked why, he
replied he'd rather be in West Virginia because everything happens
in West Virginia 20 years later than in the rest of the civilized
world.
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The young man from WV came running into the store and said to his
buddy, "Bubba, somebody just stole your pickup truck from the
parking lot!"
Bubba replied, "Did you see who it was?"
The young man answered, "I couldn't tell, but I got the license number."
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NEWS FLASH! - West Va.'s worst air disaster occurred! when a small
two-seater Cessna 150 plane, piloted by two University of Indiana
students,
crashed into a cemetery earlier today. Search and Rescue workers
have recovered 300 bodies so far and expect the number to climb as
digging continues into the evening.!
The pilot and copilot survived and are helping in the recovery efforts.
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A WV State trooper
pulled over a pickup on I-79. The trooper asked, "Got any ID?"
The driver replied, "Bout whut?"
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A man in WV had a flat tire, pulled off on the side of the road,
and proceeded to put a bouquet of flowers in front of the car and
one behind it. Then he got back in the car to wait.
A passerby studied the scene as! he drove by and was so curious he
turned around and went back. He ask ed the fellow what the problem
was.
The man replied, "I have a flat tire."
The passerby asked, "But what's with the flowers?"
The man responded,
"When you break down they tell you to put flares in the front and
flares in the back! I never did understand it either"
they could be from anywhere, not Canada though, eh!!