I think the caregivers have been under reported/supported by the various communities as they assist us day to day. This seems to be some good advice for them.
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3 Reasons Self-Care Is Essential for CaregiversIt might seem noble to give all your attention to a loved one, but being a martyr can backfire.
Frank Blood has been caring for his wife for more than 15 years, but he doesn’t feel sorry for himself.
“It’s not a bad thing,” he says. “I’ve gotten more out of it than I’ve put in.”
The 69 year-old Bolingbrook, Illinois, resident can attribute his positive caregiving experience to a firm commitment to self-care. Blood says he gets up at an “ungodly hour” to exercise before his wife wakes. Then he relies on a support system of friends and his religious faith to get him through any rough patches.
As a result, Blood says he and his 78-year-old wife, a two-time cancer survivor who has advanced chronic obstructive pulmonary disease and some memory problems, have never been closer. He’s also founded an online magazine, Caregiver Harbor, to provide resources for others helping their loved ones.
If you’re a caregiver and can’t imagine how Blood manages to fulfill all his responsibilities and still maintain a good attitude, then you’ve probably put your own self-care on the backburner. Here are three reasons to make yourself a priority.
Reason No. 1: You may no longer be able to care for your loved one.A main reason to focus on self-care is because, without it, your own health may diminish to the point where you are no longer able to act as a caregiver.
A 2011 study from the National Alliance for Caregiving tracked the health of 1,222 people who provided care for someone with Alzheimer’s disease. Over an 18 month period, the study found caregivers’ self-reported health declined and their health care usage increased. Overall, they had double the visits to the emergency room and nearly triple the visits to physicians as similar aged non-caregivers. While the study encouraged further research, it did suggest that respite services for caregivers could improve their health.
Even if your health doesn’t deteriorate to the point where you can no longer care for your loved one, you may find you’re not as attentive. “On bad days, I’m not picking up on signals [from my wife] like I do on good days,” Blood says about what happens when he neglects his self-care.
Reason No. 2: You may lose friends and have a lower quality of life.
Jane Wolf Waterman, a family care coach, author and founder of the elder care support organization Parenting Our Parents, says no amount of research can adequately convey the real-life experience of caregiving. “The numbers don’t reflect how personally alone and scary caregiving can be,” she says.
She compares it to raising children except that you’re helping someone who will need more help, not less, as time goes on. What’s more, while parents have access to a variety of communal resources – from playgroups to moms’ morning out groups – Waterman says caregivers don’t often have that same “village” rallying around them.
As a result, caregivers must be proactive about maintaining ties to family and friends and keeping active in outside interests. “Many caregivers lose their friends and become as isolated as the person they’re caring for,” says Pamela D. Wilson, known as The Care Navigator and author of “The Caregiving Trap: Solutions for Life’s Unexpected Changes.”
Beyond losing friends, caregivers who neglect taking care of themselves could find their work suffers if they have a job. Depression is another risk. A 2006 assessment of caregivers for the Family Caregiver Alliance found that 40 to 70 percent of caregivers have symptoms of depression.
Reason No. 3: You may put yourself at risk for an early death.The most compelling reason to take care of yourself while caregiving? Failure to do so could mean you pass away prematurely.
People who experience caregiver strain have a 63 percent higher mortality risk than noncaregivers, according to a 1999 study published in The Journal of the American Medical Association that evaluated 392 caregivers and 427 noncaregivers. However, subsequent research published by the Association for Psychological Science called those findings into question.
Despite the conflicting data, Wilson doesn’t doubt there is a link. After 15 years of working with caregivers on a daily basis, she says, caregivers “tend to ignore their own health.”
Wilson points to actor Christopher Reeve, who was paralyzed in an equestrian accident in 1995, and wonders if caregiving played a role in his wife Dana’s death at age 44. “She cared for him all those years and then was diagnosed [as a nonsmoker] with lung cancer eight months after he died,” she says. While there is no definitive link, Wilson is adamant caregiving can take a toll.
5 Must-Dos for CaregiversWhile you may be convinced self-care is essential, you may not know how to put it into practice. Here’s what the experts suggest.
Hold a family meeting. Wilson recommends siblings or other family members get together to hash out responsibilities, and then collectively meet with the person who needs care to discuss their plans. While not all family members may be able to provide direct care, they may be able to assist in other ways such as making home repairs or pitching in money to pay for respite services.
“Many times it’s the expectations in caregiving relationships that cause problems,” Wilson says. Head off those conflicts by making sure everyone is on the same page from the start.
Find a support system. Blood and his wife don’t have children, so their local support system is vital. If you don’t have friends or a church community to lean on, look for support groups. While online groups can be helpful, an in-person group may lead to deeper connections.
Wolf Waterman says these groups can be beneficial, but warns caregivers need to carve out time for them. “People are just desperate to be part of a caregiver group, but they can’t commit to one meeting a week,” she says.
Make healthy living a priority. Eating well, getting enough sleep and exercising regularly are all critical components of self-care. If you have friends who offer help, ask them to sit with your loved one while you nap or exercise as needed.
If you don’t have anyone nearby to ask for help, you could do what Blood does. He pays for home care aides to come to his house for three hours twice a week to help with caregiving.
Schedule regular breaks. Whether it is coffee with a friend or seeing the latest movie, taking a break from caregiving can provide an emotional and mental boost. Even walking around the block can be refreshing.
“I have taped television programs for [my wife] so I know she’s OK for a short while,” Blood says about one strategy he uses to take some time for himself.
Look for available resources. Finally, caregivers should make a point to use resources available to them. “You don’t go to school to be a caregiver,” Wilson says. “You’re just thrown into this chaos.”
Wilson, Wolf Waterman and Blood all saw a need for caregiver resources and created their own services. In addition, doctor’s offices and local health organizations can provide educational materials and connections to local resources.
Self-care isn’t something that’s just nice for caregivers to have – it’s essential. “We have to maintain our attitude and good health,” Blood says, “or the person we’re caring for will suffer.”
money.usnews.com/money/retirement/articles/2015/10/15/3-reasons-self-care-is-essential-for-caregivers
