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Post by Blossom/Jackie W. on May 20, 2009 12:01:36 GMT -5
tired and I need (sure could use) some positive thoughts/prayers right now. Especially before tomorrow. I know you all have so much on the go and happening in your lives right now so I've been VERY reluctant to say anything....
God knows I've been keeping busy with COPD stuff and the AGM but; you can only do that so much....some things can't leave ya and I know, that you know, what that's like.
Things have been a bit rough in our household for a bit now. Dave was ill, in isolation, then a very BAD round of infected ears and glands. He's still taking meds, weak and trying to recover.... On top of all that the poor guy's on vacation! Some vacation.
Me; I started the lung bleeding thing again, within a week of his being ill. (I do that every few months) I thought I'd cleared it up with a round of anti's BUT last Monday it came back with a ROAR; I started a different round....then the next day,
Tues a.m. found me in the ER We're not talking "streaking here" folks. We're talking mouthfuls every time I cough. (I hope I've not groused you out) I mean that's what I get anyway when I'm doing the "bleed thing" but this was very "fluidic" (not just mixed with mucus)shall we say. This has gone on since my lung cancer surgery.
On top of all that I'd pulled some muscles or cracked ribs in my side (the floating rib area); been living on Advil for close to 10 days (made it even harder to cough) AND
They saw something on the X Ray again; have ordered up another CT scan for tomorrow (I just had one in January) I've now put myself on on another round of anti's, still coughing "that stuff" and now this.......
When it rains it pours. If it's possible to alter the "course" of things, as in the CT; it would be a lovely though wouldn't it? Maybe you can help there? Realistically though.....
at the very least, I need to find the courage and the strength to keep on keeping on and; Dave needs the bolstering and better health as well.
May I ask for your healing thoughts and prayers? I do apologize right now; like I said, many of you are carrying loads yourself.....
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Post by cheryl on May 20, 2009 12:32:09 GMT -5
 Jackie, I didn't realize you were having such a rough time.I can understand being frightened. I'm so sorry the two of you are ill. I certainly will say extra prayers for the both of you. |
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Post by Colleen-Pa on May 20, 2009 13:20:05 GMT -5
Jackie, I am so sorry that things have gone bad for you. I will keep you and Dave in my prayers and please don't ever hesitate to ask, that's what we're here for. Will be sending lots of positive and healing thoughts your way.
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Post by Deleted on May 20, 2009 14:01:27 GMT -5
Oh Jackie all my best thoughts and prayers are for you.
Your always so strong for all of us, let us carry the load. Don't ever apolize Jackie, thank you for sharing your thoughts and fears. You have been through so much, and Dave too. We will all be here for you, remember the power of all of us!
We love you, and were here for you.
(((((((((( Jackie & Dave ))))))))))))))
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Post by Wildoats on May 20, 2009 14:43:41 GMT -5
Hi Jackie!
You having a crappy run of luck there girl..sorry to hear it.
Now more than ever we're sending thoughts,prayers and white light your way.
Hugses!
Brian and Mona
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Post by virginia on May 20, 2009 14:58:59 GMT -5
  Jackie please don't apoligize for being sick..We all love you and will be praying ..I want say that i'm not afraid for you..I am, Will be with you in spirit tomorrow..I have brought Sarah also.. I love you..Praying for Dave also.. virginia |
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Post by gwenwigley on May 20, 2009 16:01:13 GMT -5
Jackie, Have only just read your message and my heart goes out to you. You have been through so much and now this. Chris and I are sending positive thoughts and prayers your way and wishing for the very best of outcomes for you both. They say that life doesn't hand us more than we can take but sometimes we really have to wonder about that!! Spent some of the weekend in ER myself and back to the Doc today who has ordered up a whole bunch of tests for tomorrow so hopefully they will find something they can fix!! It is always the "not knowing" and waiting that is so hard. Anyway, we will allhope for better news in the near future. Take care of you both. Love from both of us. Gwen & Chris    |
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Post by Deleted on May 20, 2009 16:17:06 GMT -5
The biggest load we carry is each other, thats what we are here for, we share and care, unlike any forum I have ever been to.
Jackie mabey you will finally find out what is causing the bleeding? And it will be finally corrected, you and Dave deserve a break after all the things you have went through. This is another journey you will make, and we are all lovinly holding our arms out, if you fall we wil catch you.
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Post by bobbioh on May 20, 2009 16:50:28 GMT -5
Jackie, Im so very sorry You and Dave are going thru all this CRAP! Keep on Keeping On you both in my thoughts and Prayers. Dont worry about us PLEASE worry about you and PLEASe rest and get well. I love Ya!! Bobbi
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Post by Blossom/Jackie W. on May 20, 2009 19:42:47 GMT -5
I wish they could find out what's causing all this bleeding too Linndie. They feel they might at least find "where" it was coming from if I didn't have an allergy to the contrast dye. The reality is that the surgery was a ....; well; you get the idea and
I got left with a useless piece of an organ that's causing harm. Now;they're seeing something they didn't see in January on it...
H; a person does get tired after a bit.... and, most of you know what that's like!
Gwen; I truly hope that all is well for you...... I really do. I'll say a prayer tonight.
You're also right about weights and burdens..... I don't believe that saying; I've seen too much of what it has done and does to people....
Anyway; I'm sorry folks; it's not my intent to "depress" right now. It's just "this" go-round is scarier for me than the other ones....
I want to thank you guys from the bottom of my heart for your help in lifting me back up and reminding me that this road we all travel doesn't have to be so "alone" or "lonely" ... even in the dark times. I'll have you each in my mind's eye...... with BIG smiles on your faces no less!
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Post by Deleted on May 20, 2009 21:23:26 GMT -5
Jackie,
Love you a lot girl! we got your back, your front and your sides!
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Post by John on May 20, 2009 21:58:09 GMT -5
Jackie ; What can I say ! The candle is lit  Love & Hugs to you both ! |
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Post by roadtrip on May 20, 2009 22:15:49 GMT -5
Jackie,
Hang in there pumpkin. I am going to try and analyze away your worries - at least for a bit of time.
Didn't you say you had Bronchiectasis? We talked about it on one of your post on this Forum. If so, one of the problems with Bronchiectasis is that you can bring up a lot of blood. Yep - sad but true. I go through this all the time and have for years. Heck though, it still scares me. I actually ended up in the ER this month because of so much blood. They again called in Bronchiectasis.
I don't know if that is what is going on with you but it is very possible. It isn't dangerous unless you start hemorrhaging and then they take you in and try and stop it. Most people with Bronchiectasis never get that far.
The spot on the CT could very well be scarring. Did they tell you how big it is? Did they say if it was a granuloma or what the margins looked like? Also, every lung infection can leave scaring that looks like spots on the CT. I have a bucket load of these in my lungs from all the Bronchiectasis infections.
Also remember - every time you get a CT Scan they may indeed find new spots as infections could deposit them or your Bronchiectasis.
As an aside, has anyone ever said you had an interstitial lung disease? If so, that related scaring could also look like spots on a CT.
Anyway they could do a nuclear bone scan on you and see what lights up? It is cheaper and less invasive than a PET. Just a thought.
I guess I just wanted to give you some things to hold on to that it might be. I was hoping it might make you feel a bit better. I wish you all the goodness and health in this world. You deserve it. Pls keep us posted.
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Post by tousabella on May 21, 2009 0:22:39 GMT -5
She's not heavy....she's my sister! I'll carry any part of your load you need, lady!! God bless you and sooooo many prayers are comin your way. I'll have all the angels wrap comforting wings around you and keep you safe and well.
Prayers for Dave...this is so terribly hard on both of you. Keep us posted by someone while you rest and heal. You are very dear and precious to all of us.
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Post by Blossom/Jackie W. on May 21, 2009 6:37:55 GMT -5
TYVM my friends..... I'll stop back in later today when I get back.
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Post by Deleted on May 21, 2009 7:18:54 GMT -5
Jackie:
Please know that my thoughts and prayers are also with you and Dave. You guys have been through so much....
Please let Dave know that we are here for both of you and if there's anything else we can do, please let us know.
Take Care, My Friends
Love you,
Alynng
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Post by the bear on May 21, 2009 8:14:28 GMT -5
Sometimes, the words just won't come.
This is one of those times.
Hugz, as ever, b.
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Post by shelley on May 21, 2009 8:17:11 GMT -5
Jackie, keeping you in my thoughts...hoping that all is well and you can sigh with relief. We face so many unknowns and so many stints of acute crisis with lung disease. It seems we never quite get over one before we get struck down by another as we keep grappling to keep our head above water and every so often, it feels like we're drowning. That's when we need our family and our friends. Just to, in some unfathomable way, touch our hand and let us know that our heads aren't going under the water. This is something we need never to apologize for and this is something you have from all of us here within your family amidst the cyberhavens of technology. Wishing your strength, resolution and peace.....and a darn big drink at the end of it all!  |
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Post by aero63 on May 21, 2009 10:00:21 GMT -5
Jackie
I am so so sorry to read about this. My thoughts are with you woman. You have had more than your share and we all can understand your being tired of it all and frustrated. Being scared is perfectly normal, even though I wish you didn't have to face that. You are always there for us and now it is our time for you. Vent away...we won't leave, we are here for you for the duration.
I am also sending my thoughts your way for Dave and his recovery.
Just a thought, maybe switching to something other than advil. Sometimes it says not to take for over 7 days. Not that it has much to do with what is going on, but hoping maybe in some small way it will help.
I wish the best for you today and they find something out.
Antoinette
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Post by Vic on May 21, 2009 12:36:29 GMT -5
Dear, Dear Jackie -- Sometimes we can be a bit too strong...we could have been offering our prayers earlier. But I intend to make up for lost time, you will be in my prayers super big-time. We all owe so much to you and it's payback time.
Just a thought, do you think the Aleve may have contributed to the volume of the bleeding, being the anti-clotting agent that it is. I will pray for you and Dave both. God bless you. -- Vic
Edit: Meant to say Advil, not Aleve.
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Post by deltagirl on May 21, 2009 14:06:41 GMT -5
Jackie, As good old "Winston" said, "If you're going through hell - keep on going"! I know your inner strength and the love and support of all on this board to whom you obviously mean so much will see you through even this difficult time. My thoughts are with you, Barb.  |
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Post by wendyco on May 21, 2009 14:10:41 GMT -5
my dear dear wonderwoman, look at all the thoughts and prayers coming your way....my gosh lady you would be super human if that's all it took...we all love you so much and care for you and as the others have said....we can never repay what you have given us, the copd world........sometimes the fight does get tiring and that's okay, take a little break and rest and let it go by, then fight like hell to get back up there.....the things Roadtrip said make a lot of sense and I'm praying she is right........
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Post by maryaz on May 21, 2009 15:50:56 GMT -5
Jackie; I agree with what Bear posted: “Sometimes, the words just won't come. This is one of those times.”I have thought about you ever since I read this early this morning. You know just how I relate and feel. All I can do is pray for both of you.  |
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Post by blondie on May 21, 2009 16:48:46 GMT -5
Dear Jackie,
I am so sad to read about what you and your dh are going through right now. I pray that God gives you the strength to get through this and come out on the other side a brighter star than you already are. Pat
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Post by Blossom/Jackie W. on May 21, 2009 19:07:51 GMT -5
When I read all your notes; I can "honestly" say that I feel "loved". Mainly I guess because you have the "choice" of posting something.....
or not.
And you did/do..... And; I love you and I thank you.......
Today was a different kinda day..... did the testing (CT's aren't a big deal as you know.... it's just what they can uncover..."AGAIN" or "new"
We had doubled back to the other hospital halfway home... I wanted a copy of the "pre" surgery CT results..... Heaven knows I have e'thing else! No mention of bronchiectasis then....
Looks like I hit the "bingo" with the acquired rather than the "congenital"
To answer a few of you re: Advil. I thought of that too and had switched to Tylenol before going in to the hospital (not as good for pain I'll tell ya though!) The ER Dr. said that the Advil goes through a 2 hour cycle.... guess that means it's only temporary? Regardless; I ultimately did go back to Advil. But; even w/o it and "toughing" it out so to speak...... no change in the blood stuff.
No matter..... still doing the Blood/bleeding thing; 3rd round of drugs etc. ...
the ER Dr from last week called today.... 2nd time that 's happened now. The last time was in January and the Dr then was head Of the ER...... I must be making some kinda impression.....
Roadtrip..... TY for the analytical feedback..... I do that too. I also understand and have experienced false positives... a few times. I hope/am hoping, for a repeat experience! (BTW; I'd like to ask a few Q's of you re this "curse" from someone who has 1st hand experience. (I'll PM you)
Which also brings me to something you should ALL be aware of........ "untreated" infections.....that's a BIG other for developing bronchiectasis. Please keep that in mind for your own benefits (knowledge)
Anyway; I'm so tired and soo drained BUT We did pick up some geraniums on the way home..... that's a"normal" thing for me this time of year....and a BIG bonus..... because
Dave's feeling a lot better!
My/our, love, prayers and Thank You's to each of you! Although I was very reluctant to share and ask for your prayers; frankly; I'm glad I did. I think I'll sleep a bit better tonight.
I can't remember that saying but it's something about a burden shared becomes lighter or half the load.....
Now we wait and in the interim hope that my body stops this internal ex foliation!!!
Love, hugs and prayers to each and every one of you.....
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Post by aero63 on May 21, 2009 19:56:18 GMT -5
thanks for the update. I know you keep things to yourself and it seems hard for you to ask for thoughts and prayers. Never hesitate to. I am constantly thinking about you and hoping for the best. Darn the wait time!!!!!
I am glad you found some energy to get your geraniums.
Please get some much needed rest and we are all pulling for you.
Antoinette
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Post by maryaz on May 21, 2009 20:42:57 GMT -5
Jackie Glad you got the flowers. I don't think anyone can do the 'waiting game' too well.It's a tough one. Glad to hear Dave is better. Hang in there.
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Post by virginia on May 21, 2009 21:21:55 GMT -5
I couldn't go to bed until I heard, feel better too, Will wait and pray with you...Yes a plant is a treat for me too..
(((hugs))))
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Post by spike99 on May 21, 2009 21:54:40 GMT -5
Jackie. I've got lots of prayers being sent your direction as well. Do hang in there. We need you!!!!! Like many, I have my fingers (and toes -  !) crossed for you as well. Keep your chin up and keep moving forward. That's all we ask.... . |
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Post by stargazer on May 23, 2009 23:11:00 GMT -5
Jackie, i am so sorry to hear of your struggles. You are in my thoughts and prayers for sure.
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!) crossed for you as well. Keep your chin up and keep moving forward. That's all we ask....