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Post by stoker55 on Mar 20, 2015 14:58:12 GMT -5
Law of Gravity - Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible place in the universe. Law of Probability - The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act. Law of Random Numbers - If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal; someone always answers. Variation Law - If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now. Law of the Bath - When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone will ring. Law of Close Encounters - The probability of meeting someone you know INCREASES dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with. Law of the Result - When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, IT WILL!!!
Law of Biomechanics - The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach. Law of the Theater & Hockey Arena - At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle, always arrive last. They are the ones who will leave their seats several times to go for food, beer, or the toilet and who leave early before the end of the performance or the game is over. The folks in the aisle seats come early, never move once, have long gangly legs or big bellies and stay to the bitter end of the performance. The aisle people also are very surly folk. The Coffee Law - As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold. Murphy's Law of Lockers - If there are only 2 people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers. Law of Physical Surfaces - The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet or rug. Law of Logical Argument - Anything is possible IF you don't know what you are talking about. Law of Physical Appearance - If the clothes fit, they're ugly. Law of Public Speaking -- A CLOSED MOUTH GATHERS NO FEET! Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy - As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it OR the store will stop selling it! Doctors' Law - If you don't feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there, you'll feel better. But don't make an appointment and you'll stay sick.
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Post by stoker55 on Mar 20, 2015 12:55:27 GMT -5
Welcome ronwright
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Post by stoker55 on Mar 18, 2015 9:07:19 GMT -5
Thanks Skate & Gerald. This is really a hot topic everywhere for may chronic diseases but we have to remember that it is highly doubtful that we will be able to regenerate our fractured lung cells during our life span. However any continued resesearch will always hold hope for us.
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maggie
Mar 18, 2015 9:02:45 GMT -5
Post by stoker55 on Mar 18, 2015 9:02:45 GMT -5
Welcome Maggie
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Post by stoker55 on Mar 18, 2015 9:02:25 GMT -5
Welcome shumilady
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Post by stoker55 on Mar 16, 2015 8:55:49 GMT -5
Thanks David that is really awesome news!
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Post by stoker55 on Mar 13, 2015 9:01:31 GMT -5
Thanks Barb & David.
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Post by stoker55 on Mar 13, 2015 8:57:27 GMT -5
Wow-I'd like to see a class action suit on this. For years I had to pay for my daughter's Pulmicort and even with extended medical it was a lot for a single mom to fork out. Drug companies make me so mad! Especially if you get a doctor that is in cahoots with them. That's my rant for the day.
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Post by stoker55 on Mar 13, 2015 8:53:41 GMT -5
Welcome AJ
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Post by stoker55 on Mar 11, 2015 8:52:43 GMT -5
Marlene
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Post by stoker55 on Mar 11, 2015 8:43:47 GMT -5
BEST LAWYER / INSURANCE STORY OF THE YEAR, DECADE, AND POSSIBLY THE CENTURY.
This actually took place in Charlotte, North Carolina.
A lawyer purchased a box of very rare and expensive cigars, then insured them against, among other things, fire.
Within a month, having smoked his entire stockpile of these great cigars, the lawyer filed a claim against the insurance company. In his claim, the lawyer stated the cigars were lost 'in a series of small fires.'
The insurance company refused to pay, citing the obvious reason, that the man had consumed the cigars in the normal fashion.
The lawyer sued and WON! (Stay with me.)
Delivering the ruling, the judge agreed with the insurance company that the claim was frivolous. The judge stated nevertheless, that the lawyer held a policy from the company, in which it had warranted that the cigars were insurable and also guaranteed that it would insure them against fire, without defining what is considered to be unacceptable 'fire' and was obligated to pay the claim.
Rather than endure lengthy and costly appeal process, the insurance company accepted the ruling and paid $15,000 to the lawyer for his loss of the cigars that perished in the 'fires'.
NOW FOR THE BEST PART...
After the lawyer cashed the check, the insurance company had him arrested on 24 counts of ARSON!!! With his own insurance claim and testimony from the previous case being used against him, the lawyer was convicted of intentionally burning his insured property and was sentenced to 24 months in jail and a $24,000 fine.
This true story won First Place in last year's Criminal Lawyers Award contest.
ONLY IN AMERICA . . .
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Post by stoker55 on Mar 9, 2015 8:48:38 GMT -5
Welcome Barb
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Post by stoker55 on Mar 6, 2015 9:56:59 GMT -5
Welcome Tind
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Post by stoker55 on Mar 6, 2015 9:46:16 GMT -5
A father buys a lie detector robot that slaps people when they lie. He decides to test it out at dinner one night. The father asks his son what he did that afternoon. The son says, "I did some schoolwork." The robot slaps the son. The son says, "Ok, Ok. I was at a friend's house watching movies." Dad asks, "What movie did you watch?" Son says, "Toy Story." The robot slaps the son.
Son says, "Ok, Ok, we were watching porn." Dad says, "What? At your age I didn't even know what porn was." The robot slaps the father. Mom laughs and says, "Well, he certainly is your son." The robot slaps the mother.
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Post by stoker55 on Mar 2, 2015 15:37:55 GMT -5
Mary I'm just having one more pint with the lads; if I am not home in 20 minutes read this message again.
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Post by stoker55 on Mar 2, 2015 10:40:30 GMT -5
Like Skate I was so surprised that he had COPD & never spoke out. If he only knew about it for the last year then I can really understand as it is hard to fathom in the very beginning. He and his family must of been so shocked since he had quit over 30 years ago. What scares me is that my sister-in-law called me on the phone and was preaching to me that see-it's ok to smoke as to her that proves that smoking isn't the realy reason behind the illness. She was told she had this disease over 10 years ago and just quit smoking this last Nov when she had a lung attack. She still swears that it is her asthma (why you would smoke when you have asthma? ask her)I have tried to explain about the testing difference between asthma & COPD but she isn't interested. What a terrible addiction smoking is. Education is the only way that people will get it that smoking and environmental issues have such an impact on all of us be we COPDers or not.
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Post by stoker55 on Mar 2, 2015 10:25:23 GMT -5
Welcome Sue68; new to this; feel alone? You aren't anymore.
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Post by stoker55 on Mar 2, 2015 10:24:01 GMT -5
Ron Chestna, 89 years of age, was stopped by the police around 2 a.m. and was asked where he was going at that time of night . Ron replied, "I'm on my way to a lecture about alcohol abuse and the effects it has on the human body, as well as smoking and staying out late." The officer asked, "Really? Who's giving that lecture at this time of night?" Ron replied, "That would be my wife."
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Post by stoker55 on Feb 25, 2015 14:02:32 GMT -5
Welcome snowgoose
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Post by stoker55 on Feb 20, 2015 15:50:43 GMT -5
Man – Haven’t I seen you someplace before? Woman – Yes, that’s why I don’t go there anymore. Man – Can I buy you a drink? Woman – I think I’d rather have the money! Man – Will you go out with me this Saturday? Woman – Sorry, I’m having a headache this weekend. Man – Is this seat empty? Woman – Yes, and this one will be if you sit down. Man – So what do you do for a living? Woman – I’m a female impersonator.
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Post by stoker55 on Feb 20, 2015 15:47:48 GMT -5
Thanks Dave I saw a documentary on the air quality there. It is so sad that kids can't even go to school some days because of the pollution in the air. We certainly are living in God's country here in North America.
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Post by stoker55 on Feb 20, 2015 15:45:37 GMT -5
That was awesome, thanks Barb
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Post by stoker55 on Feb 20, 2015 15:38:07 GMT -5
I agree with David who cares at this stage? My brother is 85 this April and has been on the lowest dose of morphine for over 10 years. He takes it 2x's a day and doesn't ever ask for more. He takes it for pain. If is ain't broke don't fix it is my philosophy.
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Post by stoker55 on Feb 20, 2015 15:34:23 GMT -5
Welcome Gerald!
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Post by stoker55 on Feb 16, 2015 12:30:31 GMT -5
I found this little blurp from COPD World News Week of June 22, 2014 It is about Montreal though. Metal coils used in new emphysema treatment Montreal, PQ - Doctors in Canada, the United States and Europe are experimenting with a new treatment that involves inserting Slinky-like metal coils into damaged portions of the lungs to restore their lost elasticity, allowing patients to breathe normally. “What the coil does, actually, is it acts like a spring,” said Dr. Antoine Delage, of the Institut Universitaire De Cardiologie Et De Pneumologie in Quebec. “It recoils the lung back to a smaller size, so it’s easier for these patients to breathe.” Emphysema develops when the lungs become damaged, usually from a lifetime of smoking. As the damage builds up, the lungs lose their elasticity and have greater difficulty expanding and contracting. The chronic disease worsens over time, making it even more difficult for sufferers to breathe. Emphysema is sometimes treated by simply cutting out the stiff, diseased lung tissue. Taking medication or specialized exercise programs can also help slow the disease. But this coil treatment is something new that doctors can soon offer patients, Delage says. “It is … exciting to see there are new developments in a disease where there have been very few in the past few years,” he said. To insert the coils, doctors place a narrow tube inside a patient’s nose or mouth before threading the tiny coil into the airway of the lung. The coil then attaches to the diseased tissue and pulls it tight, compressing the unhealthy portion of the lung. This gives healthier lung tissue room to expand; several coils can be inserted to improve overall lung capacity. Art Grenier, one of the patients who has undergone the treatment, says he has felt a dramatic improvement in his breathing. Grenier started smoking at the age of 9 and has been suffering from emphysema for years. “I would have to stop every three or four words and catch my breath,” he says. “It was very difficult to do anything strenuous.” That all changed after the procedure. “My stomach was more relaxed, I didn’t have any pain in my abdomen, my diaphragm wasn’t compressed,” he says. “I can inhale deeply. I didn’t have problems anymore. It was amazing.” Early studies suggest that patients who’ve undergone the treatment report improved lung function and exercisability. However, more research is needed to determine which patients are best-suited for the treatment. Doctors say they are looking to test the treatment on 300 patients, screening for possible side effects like infection and pneumonia. Final results are expected early next year. While other treatments exist for emphysema -- also known as COPD, or chronic obstructive pulmonary disease -- the condition has no cure. For more information: tinyurl.com/n6vp28j
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Post by stoker55 on Feb 13, 2015 10:02:40 GMT -5
However you get your Omega 3's it is important for your all around health; especially the heart that works tandem with our lungs.
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Post by stoker55 on Feb 13, 2015 9:53:45 GMT -5
A Scottish Soldier, in full dress uniform, marches into a pharmacy.
Very carefully he opens his sporran and pulls out a neatly folded cotton bandana, unfolds it to reveal a smaller silk square handkerchief, which he also unfolds - to reveal a condom.
The condom has a number of patches on it.
The chemist holds it up and eyes it critically.
"How much to repair it?' The Scot asks the chemist.
"S ix pence" says the chemist.
"How much for a new one?"
"Ten pence" says the chemist.
The Scot painstakingly folds the condom into the silk square handkerchief and the cotton bandana, replaces it carefully in his sporran, and marches out of the door, shoulders back and kilt swinging.
A moment or two later the chemist hears a great shout go up outside, followed by an even greater shout.
The Scottish soldier marches back into the chemists and addresses the proprietor, this time with a grin on his face.
"The regiment has taken a vote," he says. “We'll have a new one."
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Post by stoker55 on Feb 4, 2015 12:52:17 GMT -5
A husband takes his wife to her high school reunion.
After meeting several of her friends and former school mates, they are sitting at a table where he is yawning and overly bored. The band cranks up and people are beginning to dance.
There's a guy on the dance floor living it large, break dancing, moon walking, back flips, buying drinks for people, the works.
The wife turns to her husband and says, "See that guy? 25 years ago he proposed to me and I turned him down.”
The husband says: "Looks like he's still celebrating!!!"
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Post by stoker55 on Feb 2, 2015 17:02:08 GMT -5
A man receives the following text from his neighbor: "I am so sorry Bob. I've been riddled with guilt and I have to confess. "I have been helping myself to your wife, day and night when you're not around. In fact, I have probably been getting more than you. I do not get it at home – but that's no excuse. I can no longer live with the guilt and I hope you will accept my sincerest apology with my promise that it won't ever happen again." The man, anguished and betrayed, goes directly into his bedroom, grabs his gun, and without a word, shoots his wife dead.
A few moments later, a second text comes in, "Bloody spell check!! Sorry Bob, the second sentence should refer to 'your Wifi'."
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Post by stoker55 on Jan 28, 2015 15:41:11 GMT -5
Hope this shows up I have never added a pic before.
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